Different Shades

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English language Welcome Page for eSCape tv™

 

HE:

 

Don’t like this tube train.

Always a soul-drain.

Plebeian wasteland.

Desert with no sand.

What was that track by Transvision Vamp?

 

Jennifer Ellison.

That was the one.

She did the cover.

Saw a programme on her.

What was that school called in Liverpool?

 

That’s where she went.

Taught by Catholics and preachers.

Short skirts never long enough,

She said, for the teachers.

I hope that darkie with the rucksack ain’t a suicide bomber.

I mean crikey, Jenny well Jesus…

 

SHE:

 

Wonder where he is now.

Is he thinking of me?

Is there somebody else?

Am I his, or still free

To experiment, share my fantasies

In the real world, I mean

Or should I feel guilty?

 

It’s not fair. I stopped work

To look after the kids.

Don’t even like them that much.

Not my idea, was it?

Their mates at school are too shy to be true;

That’s ‘cause they fancy me. He really ain’t got a clue.

 

HE:

 

This report is a joke. I need some light relief.

They’re asking too many questions outside of the brief.

I like that bird, prob’ly seventeen.

She just looked at me then. Bet she fancies me.

 

SHE:

 

He only smiles for effect unless she mirrors him first

Almost like he’s sixteen, only flirts with my skirt

Well he can have ‘em. Don’t care if he’s in love or he’s not.

Don’t think he pays for it yet. But if he does, then so what?

 

HE:

 

Bet that’ll burn a hole in the chancellor’s budget

While he throws a smoking blanket on the national debt.

I’m not cut out for this shit. I hate him. He’s wet.

Should have been a drop-out. Should have been a poet.

 

SHE:

 

It’s the menopause now. He’s a hormonal trap.

Gets more turned on by a falling bra-strap.

Gonna get a life. I reckon we gotta split.

He’s no imagination. I can’t go on with all this wifey shit…

 me

HE:

 

Well here we are, ladies:

The Britannia Bar, oh!

Euston Station. Wotta larf. Innit, though?

Can’t trust no one. This laptop’s the company’s.

I’ll hang it on that Chelsea clip, ‘provided for my security...’

 

SHE:

 

Fuck safe sex, mate.

We’re getting a lodger.

All I need now is a prick

With a twelve-inch todger.

Maybe he’s gay? Fuckin’ flower-brain.

Bet he’s got me those tit-grabbin’ triffids again.

 

HE:

 

Bet she’s thinking of me.

Hope she likes the flowers.

I want a pasty. Can’t. I’m on a diet.

Could always get a croque-monsieur [pronounce: croak monsyewer] from the bar.

Problem is that ‘c’ when followed by a French ‘r’…

 

HE & SHE:

 

It’s driving me mad. I’m gonna torture those kids.

We got married too young. Then that was it…

Still, if that’s all there is, guess we can’t complain

But when it comes to the kids, there I’d think again.

 

Don’t like the flowers no more. Only like the colours.

All those different shades of yellow, green, blue and red.

Always wondering, me. Has s/he ever wondered?

Kind of thing you notice when your days are numbered…