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Chetham's (Chet's to its chums) is probably the oldest institution in the City of Manchester which, as the first city in England to adopt the Free Libraries Act is still very proud of good old Chet's, whose (now inaccessible) library dates back to 1653, and whose reputation is founded on the best and probably snootiest music college in the North.
It is in this awe-inspiring environment that Janet has her first job interview since she first signed on eleven years ago, courtesy of the late Harry, part-time DSS snoop and drug pusher. The telephone conversation following which Janet's big day was arranged probably also contained Harry's last words.
'I'm not friggin' goin' Sam ! I don't care if they take me dole. I'd rather freeze me tits off than work for fuckin' stuck-up friggin' fruitcakes the likes o' them. An' I mean. Half past six in the bleedin' morning, me ! Can you see me with a mop an' bucket in some fuckin' hooray cardboard uniform, sponging out the wanking stains for some fuckin' arsehole bunch of spoilt faggots ?'
Samantha cannot see it either.
Searching for the Lonely Hearts in last night's Evening News, Sam's attention is sidetracked by a couple of items in the articles for sale section.
'Husband and television for sale. Bored, desperate housewife gives up. 0161 etc. What do you reckon, Jan ?
*
'Hello. I'm interested in the telly... ...How much ?... ...Will you take a cheque ?... ...No I don't have a banker's card. Hello ?'
'Try this one, Sam.'
After a dozen or so calls, Jan an' Sam have found somewhere to go and something to do there.
It's now just past nine and the pair are sitting in a taxi, on the way to their respective (blind) dates in the same Chinese restaurant. Sam's date is for half past nine and Jan's was five minutes ago.
'Eh Sam, there aren't arf some sad bastards what advertise in the paper, what do you think ?'
'I know. Did you see that bloke advertising fourteen tins of Katomeat for a fiver ?'
'Don't be cruel, Sam. His cat's probably been run over.'
'Serves him right. Stupid wanker.'
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